EXCERPTS

Excerpt 3 is from the chapter entitled “One Hot Date”

If it’s possible for seniors to ever describe a date as a “hot” one—and I don’t mean because of menopausal hot flashes–I can actually say I had a bona fide hot date! It was almost sacrilegious because it was on a Sunday, and we definitely got steamy. The date was filled with heavy breathing, panting, and two bodies gleaming with sweat in a very secluded area. I even slapped him once.
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Excerpt 2:  This excerpt is from the chapter “With Friends Like These.”  I had visited my snowbird parents down south where they wintered.  Toward the end of the visit, my ever-loving and super sweet mother tried to gently suggest I might want some friends.  At that point, my blunt-and-to-the-point father spelled it out for me:

 “She means MAN friends.” ….    

Two of the most precious and dearest people in my life - my mom and dad.
Two of the most precious and dearest people in my life – my mom and dad.

All I could blurt out was: “No, thanks, I’m good.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mom glare at Dad and give him THE LOOK.  That LOOK could bore through the soul of its victim, and even peripherally spread to include anyone nearby.  When she had turned THE LOOK on me, or on one of my five siblings while we were growing up, it had been common for not only the culprit to freeze and apologize, but for a chorus of apologies to reverberate through the house, issued in fear from any nearby innocent bystanders.

Guilty or not, the power of THE LOOK still worked.  Dad and I both apologized at the same time…

Once I was home, however, the gentle suggestions continued from other members of the family.  I’d underestimated the determination they had to make me “happy” again.  Evidently Mom and my daughters had watched Fiddler on the Roof one too many times, because they decided to become cyber Yentes and get a “friend” for me — on the Internet.

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Excerpt 1:  I thought you might like an excerpt or two from “Not Sixteen.” This is from the chapter entitled “It’s Baseball Season–Errors Galore and Someone Just Stole First Base.”  If you like it, I hope you read the book for more adventures!

 

  Well, Big Bad John did have a streak of decency. He was very gentlemanly, and walked me to my car. I was debating how to shake hands – a straight arm thrust across my body to his right hand, a warm clasp with two hands since, after all, he’d just bought me a meal, or just a casual wave and a “Thanks for lunch and drive safely!”  Or did I give him a sisterly little hug at the waist, which was as high as I could reach, which meant I’d be eye-to-navel with him? Eeek.

Well, he took care of my indecisiveness. He bent about three of his six and a half feet, wrapped me in a bear hug, and planted a kiss right on my mouth. And it wasn’t just a quick little peck.  I stepped back, patted his arm, and said, brilliantly, “Oh.”

I didn’t see that coming.  What do I do now?  Are senior citizens allowed to get to first base?  My mind was reeling.  I had just been kissed.  Do I really leave him with that shocked “Oh?”   

As I climbed in my car and he shut my door for me, I racked my brain for a better way to say goodbye than “oh.”  I guess part of his earlier conversation had stuck with me, because I blurted out: “Well, you can tell your kids I kept my clothes on.”

Big Bad John just looked down at me and gave me a little grin.